Tag Archives: You’re Hired!

An Antidote to Negative Self-Talk

anxiety2A private client of mine, who I will call Tess, was like a soldier suffering from PTSD. She had been out of work for nineteen months and had failed in fifty-nine, straight job interviews at twenty-nine companies. She was very smart (MBA from the University of Chicago), accomplished, likable, and engaging, but she no longer believed in herself. A tape kept playing in her head that said, “Loser! What happened to you? Your career looked so promising. Why did you screw it up?”

Nineteen months of negative self-talk can make you a stranger to yourself. She no longer knew who she was, and she desperately needed to reconnect with her real self before she disappeared. So, we had a conversation:

Me: Are you smart?

Tess: Yes. I believe so.

Me: What makes you think that?

She looked at me a little surprised. My tone was challenging. I was saying, “Prove it.” She then said:

Tess: Well, I went to a distinguished undergrad program and did very well. I also did well in a post grad program at one the top universities in the country.

Me: Oh, so you have objective evidence that you are smart. This is a fact, not a fantasy, am I right?

Tess: Yes.

Me: Are you likable?

And so the conversation went. It became something of a game, and she would smile with each question. I finally ended it by saying, “When I tell you that you have every reason to be confident because you are smart, likable, and engaging, I am not saying things that aren’t true just to try and make you feel better. I’m sharing objectively verifiable facts. So will you please start believing me and believe in yourself.”

After our conversation she would wake up each morning and say, “I’m smart and I have objective evidence to prove it. I am likable and engaging for the following reasons….”

dreamstime_xl_19169606Her negative self-talk was now replaced by positive self-talk based on reality. A week later she interviewed with a company and was hired. Their salary offer was $20,000 more than her previous salary. This indicates she was able to transform their “need to fill a slot” into “an intense desire to have her fill this slot.”

The hiring authority can feel what we feel. Human nature was designed to have this capability through the mirror neuron system. When the hiring authority feels our anxiety, fear and a lack of confidence this can outweigh the objective reality that each one of us may actually be a great hire. So we need to regain our confidence and when we do, and the 60th opportunity comes around, this same person who failed the previous 59 times can hit the ball out of the park.

When I spoke to Tess after she received her job offer, I could feel what she felt: the pure joy that accompanies the end of a nineteen-month, brutal slog through a wilderness.

THE PATH TO JOB SEARCH SUCCESS:

The following link will take you to my eBook, The Path to Job Search Success: A Neuroscientific Approach to Interviewing, Negotiating and Networking. It details the system used to help Tess and others.

http://amzn.to/1dETvOC

The Disabled and Job Search

Job search is tough for the sighted; imagine how much more difficult it is for the blind, or others with disabilities.
Job search is tough for the sighted; imagine how much more difficult it is for the blind, or others with disabilities.

Job search is tough, but for a very large, growing percentage of the population it is even tougher. I am referring to those who have disabilities. About one in five people–a whopping 20%–have disabilities that require some special consideration during work. But as my interview with Kerry Obrist indicates, the extra work required to successfully integrate people with disabilities into their job is more than worth it, because they can be incredibly productive workers. Please click on the following link to download a podcast of this interview, or to play it right now.

http://bit.ly/1kjb16K

Kerry’s own story is quite impressive and interesting. She was thirty years old, working as a school psychologist, when a degenerative disorder made her legally blind. She is now the CEO of a company that assists other companies in integrating the disabled into their work force.

Radio Interview: Informational Interviewing with Marty Gahbauer

If you want to learn about informational interviewing, then it helps to do so from someone who conducted over 100 of them and learned the nuances of this process. That person is Marty Gahbauer and my radio interview with him was a fun opportunity to go over many of the most important insights he shares during a much longer seminar.

The following link will take you to a site where you can download a free podcast and then listen to it when the time is right. That could be during your commute, at the gym, during a shopping trip, whenever. http://bit.ly/1gCrBlx

I hope you enjoy it and please share it with other jobseekers who could benefit from this approach. In a shameless plug, my book, No Medal for Second Place: How to Finish First in Job Interviews, has a chapter covering the subject.

My best,

Tom Payne

 

You’re Hired! A Radio Show Supporting Jobseekers

You’re Hired! is a radio show offering jobseekers powerful job search tools. The attached link will take you to an interview I conducted with Orla Castanien, a sought after speaker on the subject of strengths and how discovering them and articulating them is at the core of successful job search.

I first heard Orla speak at the Career Transitions Center of Chicago and was not just impressed with the logic and strength of her positions, but also with the utility of the exercises she used to help a person learn their strengths. One of these techniques, the peak moment exercise, is contained in this free, downloadable podcast. The link to this show follows:

http://bit.ly/1cNI9oc

I hope you find it enjoyable and I look forward to sharing some future interviews with the CTC’s volunteer coaches and staff, and others, on their areas of expertise.