As people in organizations evolve, we are often asked for help in developing the new skills those organizations perceive as required. The skill most requested is communications.

Since communications are such a vital element in relationship, we're always pleased when an organization is desirous of improving them. But just what does improving communications mean?

Why is communication not occurring? Is the telephone system inadequate, FAX not working, or the Internet too confusing? Or maybe the office layout is such that people have difficulty getting to each other? Is the organization so deeply layered communication gets lost in the maze?

Or is it every time an employee opens his or her mouth Esperanto comes out instead of the intended language? Just what does it mean when organizations say, "Help our people communicate?"

It typically means we aren't telling each other the truth.

This old truism tells me that we know how to deliver open and honest communications, we can tell the truth. We did it when we were seven years old. If we're harming our relationships through lack of honest communications today, we must be choosing not to communicate honestly.

Of course we will not build lasting relationships by deliberately hurting other people, but in an attempt to be loved by everyone or to avoid any potential for confrontation, we may keep inside ourselves issues best dealt with outside.

In these stormy times, relationships are strained because major pieces of information are either being misrepresented or intentionally omitted altogether.

The boss isn't telling the employee what she knows about the future due to misguided policies or a controlling management style. The employee's not telling the boss what's really needed to do the job more effectively because the employee sees that as being "not my job." Or is he or she afraid of the consequences?

For example:

Considering the culture of your organization today, is the relationship between boss and employee such that it would be acceptable for people to be open and honest and tell their bosses if they're scared? I don't mean specific bosses. One-on-one, I'm sure you can find some open relationships, but what about the culture of your industry? Your organization?

Is it in the culture of the organization to communicate those kinds of feelings? Usually we can express feelings when we feel angry. This is an acceptable feeling in today's work environment since it's considered macho (or femcho, as the case may be). What about a more vulnerable feeling such as being scared?

Do scared employees generate different behaviors at work than those employees who are challenged and excited? Do scared employees, over the long run, due to their different behaviors, generate different results than the challenged and excited employees? Of course.

So why are work relationships such that we often don't communicate our feelings honestly? What do we think would happen to the boss/employee relationship if we told our bosses we're scared? (Many folks are afraid of being perceived wimps and seeing this as a negative on their performance review.)

As our relationship with our work evolves, we must be able to include honest communications without perceiving externally imposed negative consequences, like a pathetic performance review or a punch in the nose. And our confidence must be such that receiving a ration of well-intentioned honesty is OK.

For the good of us all and the strength of our relationships, we must encourage others to confront us, to push against us and to test our conviction at every turn. That's a healthy relationship.

We have the inherent know-how to communicate honestly. Choose to combine that knowledge with a sincere desire to foster, strengthen and enlighten relationships, and we'll equip ourselves and our organizations for the excitement and challenges waiting just around the corner.

Imagine the strength of the relationships and the power, energy and passion that would run loose in an organization whose core value is, "Always communicate the truth."