Monthly Archives: October 2013

Communication: It’s More Complex than You Might Think

Job Search

In job search we communicate with other people in order to find and secure an opportunity. To communicate with someone else as effectively as possible it helps to understand what is going on during this communication process. It’s more complicated than you think.

interview-questionsWe don’t have to say a word and we are communicating. Someone else’s body language, particularly their facial expression, can communicate an enormous amount of nuanced information. Then, when we begin to speak, the amount of data that our minds need to process increases exponentially, because during a conversation between two people there are always six people talking.

As we speak we have an image of ourselves in our mind. If we are speaking on a subject we are familiar with that image could be “I’m brilliant.” That’s one person. We also have an image of the other person in our mind, “This person needs to hear the brilliant things I have to say.” That’s a second person in the conversation. Finally, we are constantly trying to analyze how the other person is responding to our conversation: “He finds me fascinating.” This third conversation is taking place because communication is always about content and relationship at the same time. What we hear is affected by how we feel we are being treated.

The other person also has an image of himself, of you and how he feels you are treating him. These six points of view complicate communication, as does the fact that as we are sending messages we are simultaneously receiving and processing messages that come to us non-verbally.

The rational mind processes data at about 40 bits per second so it is not up to the task of processing all of this information and speak at the same time. Undergirding the act of communicating is something that operates far faster. It is called the cognitive unconscious and it is always on and processing information at an estimated rate of around 11 million bits per second. It communicates to us viscerally through accelerated heart rate, increased sweating, and the sense of uneasiness that proceeds fight and flight responses, among other things.

communicationIn the next post we’ll look at the cognitive unconscious, but for now let’s consider the impact of “six people” talking during an interview. Imagine an interviewee, named Sophie, speaking about her sizable accomplishments. Sophie thinks she is a superior performer based on her track record of success. (That’s one person.) She thinks her interviewer, Jackie, needs to hear just how much she can bring to her organization. (That’s two people.) Sophie sees Jackie looking at her intently until she drops her gaze to look at her resume and then she senses trouble. A sense of uneasiness makes her feel a little queazy. (How she feels she is being treated is the third person.)

Sophie doesn’t realize that her tone, her overpowering sense of self, her intense expression, are all overwhelming Jackie. She fails to understand how there are also three people in this conversation on the other side of the table who are not receiving the message she is trying to communicate.

Person # 1:  Jackie views herself as a good boss who builds strong teams.

Person # 2: She looks at Sophie and she sees someone who is driven by the belief that she can do it all and others will be tolerated, but essentially they are in the way of her achieving great things.

Person # 3: Jackie sees Sophie as being an overbearing person who would probably bully her subordinates, because she feels like Sophie is in some ways trying to bully, intimidate or force her to make an offer. Sophie seems to be possessed by the belief that Jackie wouldn’t dare pass up on her talent.

But then Jackie looked down at Sophie’s resume during the interview, because in her mind the interview was over, and Sophie’s cognitive unconscious heard the same message loud and clear.

 

Rotten Apple

Business, , ,

It pains me to write this post. I love Apple products. I’m writing this on my MacBook Pro. I have a MacBook Air, an iMac, my wife and I have iPhones, and prior to iPhones replacing them, some iPods. But I believe Apple is starting to show the impact of Steve Jobs’ unfortunate departure.

First, innovation is being replaced by a glacial, feature creep. Is that the fault of the new CEO, Tim Cook? Maybe, probably, but it’s impossible to say for sure. However, he doesn’t strike me as the sort of driven visionary that Jobs was.

ios-7Second, following the botched maps roll out we have a much quieter response to what is, for iPhone 4 and 4S users, an even more thoroughly botched roll-out of the new operating system for the iPhone, iOS 7.

When it came out I did what I’ve always done: I downloaded the new operating system. I then went from having a smart phone to an irritating, cretin phone. This led me to call Apple and have the following odd conversation with one of their employees. My guess is he does not work in the genius bar:

Me: “I upgraded my iPhone 4’s iOS and now it doesn’t work.”

Apple boy: “Do you have a lot of photos on it?”

Me: “No. But I will type in 20 characters without seeing them and then all of the sudden the string of letters will appear. Sometimes, once it finally appears, a sentence is all in caps. It looks stupid. You’ve made my email, Twitter and Facebook apps an exercise in frustration. Is that what you want at Apple?”

iphone4-whiteWhat follows is rich. Upgrading was my fault.

Apple boy: “You know the upgrading process is voluntary and not mandatory. Did you check to see if this upgrade was recommended for your iPhone 4?”

Me: “Why wouldn’t I upgrade my software if you are offering me an upgrade for my software? If this was known to not work with the iPhone 4, then warning labels should have appeared before the download instructions and after them.”

Apple boy [Evidently, the reasonableness of this claim registered so he started to juke and jive, like a tiny punt returner dodging linebackers]: “We have thousands of people beta-testing this, but I guess they missed this problem.”

Me: “How can you miss a problem like, ‘We’ve just disabled your email’? Besides, Apple has over $100 billion in the bank. Why don’t they hire more people to test this crap out before you sneak it onto people’s phones?

“Anyway, I’m tired of this. Let me just upgrade my phone even though this one still works great.”

Samsung-Galaxy-S-II-Epic-Touch-4G-Android-Phone-650x1181Apple boy: “I’m sorry, there are no iPhone 5’s available in the color and capacity that you want at your local Apple stores. Since you want to trade in your iPhone 4 the best thing to do is to call everyday to see if your phone is available and have them put it on hold.”

I never thought I’d say this, but Apple has become expensive, idiotic, and vulnerable to Android and, God forbid, possibly even Microsoft now that Ballmer is on the way out. Perhaps changes need to be made at Apple too.

Observations From Assisting Northwestern University Alumni

Coaching, Job Search

I was invited to assist Northwestern University alumni to hone their interviewing skills. As you can imagine, there were no dummies in this crowd. But what impressed me the most was their openness to new ideas. Not one person arrived with a know-it-all attitude, and as a result I believe the people I spoke with were able to see how they were approaching interviewing in the wrong direction. As one person told me, “You’ve reversed everything I’ve thought about interviewing.”

Christopher-Columbus-and-Ship
Christopher Columbus and a rendering of one of his ships.

Here is the point: A high level of intelligence does not make us immune to the false assumptions bedeviling the job search process. False assumptions affect everyone and they limit our effectiveness. Many of the captains of the sea, prior to the discoveries of Columbus, were intelligent and well-educated, but their talent and abilities were no match for the assumption that the earth was flat. Once this false assumption was overturned, their navigational capabilities soared.

False assumptions must be overturned and then replaced with effective job search principles. In other words, we need to move beyond merely learning techniques, because we can never learn enough techniques to cover every contingency. However, once we are armed with the correct principles we can respond to these contingencies whenever they appear. An example of such a principle is, “You are always positive, never negative.” Principles like this can help you answer unanticipated questions.

For example, let’s say you are surprised by the question, “Tell me about your worst boss?” This is an invitation to go negative, to vent, to commit interviewing suicide. But the person who knows he or she needs to be always positive refuses to take this bait. They respond, “Bosses are supposed to prepare you for greater responsibilities and I learned a great deal from everyone of them. So, I had no worst bosses. I had one superlative boss and many good bosses. Would you like for me to tell you about one of my good ones?”

The first part of my book, No Medal for Second Place: How to Finish First in Job Interviews, attempts to accomplish several things. First, it tries to overturn the false assumptions hampering virtually every jobseeker who has never been professionally coached. Second, it seeks to supplant these false assumptions with principles that can guide you in your job search. Here is a link to read the first three chapters of the book.

http://www.tompayne.com/no-medal-for-second-place.html

Whether you read the rest of the book or not, these chapters will likely help you in your job search quest.

airborne
Taking a walk on the wild side. Going Airborne.

I learned many things from attending the U.S. Army’s school in leadership called Ranger School. One of the lessons that stuck with me from the first moment I heard it until now is: “Ranger Payne, you cannot violate principles in the conduct of your patrol. Techniques can vary, but principles like security and reconnaissance are set in stone.” Like the Rangers conducting patrols in hostile and threatening environments, we need to be guided by sound principles in our job search journey.

Finally, today will be a fun day for the visiting alumni at Northwestern University. I could feel the energy on the campus as the student body was getting ready for the much-publicized show down between the Northwestern Wildcats and the Ohio State Buckeyes.

Go Cats!

 

Confirmation Bias, Groupthink and the Value of Coaching

Coaching, Job Search, , , , ,

Our minds can mislead us, play tricks on us and, ultimately, narrow the range of choices we are willing to consider until we end up making a very bad choice. Bad decisions, bad choices, are at the heart of many a stalled job search.

confirmation biasMany people are familiar with the phrase confirmation bias. It is a tendency of people to favor information that confirms their hypotheses or beliefs. Information that supports their view proves their hypothesis is correct, while contrary information is filtered out. For example, a jobseeker might believe his background limits him to searching in a narrow field of possibilities. He gets some interest from companies in this area and no interest from companies outside of it. This response of the hiring world confirms his bias; however, he might have been ideally suited for a position outside of his limited field of search, and discovered this, had he expanded his networking and informational interviewing beyond his narrow, self-imposed limits.

It is extremely difficult for a person, working alone, to break free of the mental prison of confirmation bias. One of the roles of an outside coach is to assist in this liberation. Coaches don’t tend to share the bias of their client and they can, in many cases, get their client to see the need to approach their problem differently. So, the key is for the jobseeker to work with other people, right?

Not necessarily. There is a type of confirmation bias on steroids known as groupthink, and it can thrive in a jobseeker’s tight circle of family and friends. In groupthink the desire for harmony within the group, and the sense of loyalty to the group, makes each individual reluctant to entertain opposing views and alternative solutions. These may result in conflict. Therefore, everyone thinks alike, critical thought is absent, and bad decisions are made.

Pearl HarborIrving Janis, who wrote a book that introduced this idea, illustrated this phenomenon in the attack on Pearl Harbor. In late November, 1941, Admiral Kimmel, the commanding officer stationed at Pearl Harbor, received one of many warnings that a Japanese attack was both a strong possibility and imminent: “This dispatch is considered to be a war warning. Negotiations with Japan have ceased and an aggressive move by Japan is expected in the next few days.” This came from Washington D.C.

He discussed this with the four officers who were part of his inner circle and they all continued to cling to their pre-existing belief: “There is just no way Japan would attack a U.S. naval facility.” Kimmel’s group had an extreme degree of cohesion. One of his officers referred to himself as a Kimmelite, and they never seriously considered an alternative point of view. The result was a devastating surprise attack on December 6, 1941.

Confirmation bias and groupthink are mental shackles. They prevent us from seeing clearly, solve problems effectively, and make sound decisions. To prevent them from affecting your job search you need the help of someone who can challenge your assumptions and present alternative solutions. You need someone outside of your inner circle. You need a coach.

Hope

Job Search, , , , ,

sunrise-freeJobseekers tend to psychologically relocate themselves during a job search. Hope, or the lack of it, determines the neighborhood they choose. The jobseeker without hope can become the psychological equivalent of a homeless person, a beggar who feels he or she has nothing to offer, and who is crippled by a sense of shame and despair. Meanwhile, those jobseekers who have hope realize that they possess inherent worth and offer genuine value, and by being able to express this they attract the help of others–complete strangers–and find the hidden job opportunities.

I am not speaking about false hope, whistling in the dark when a genuine threat is nearby. False hopes are for the deluded, but 99.9% of jobseekers can have a delusion-free hope. Why? Because their talents and skills can solve the problems afflicting employers. These jobseekers are the solutions who need to seek problems. They are not problems seeking solutions.

Today (10-1-13) I was speaking to Anita Jenke, who is the head of the Career Transitions Center of Chicago (CTC), and she told me how the CTC had to be careful who they allowed to interview them based on the slant of their story. They wanted to avoid giving any interview that fed the pessimism that is so prevalent, the hopelessness regarding the employment situation. Because, as she put it, hope is an essential element in job search; it enables jobseekers to remain positive in their job search and attractive to hiring companies. Yes, complete strangers will help you in your job search, but are less inclined to do so if you are crippled by bitterness or despair.

It’s true! When I went through the informational interviewing and networking process I thought in advance, “Dear God, shoot me right now.” I was fearful of rejection and being considered a burden to others. But after I started the process I found I loved it. I’m serious. I loved it. Because most people, people I didn’t know, wanted to help me. It restored what faith I had lost in humanity. That, by itself, was not a bad return for the time invested.

 

An illustration of the InfernGustave Dore's
An illustration of the Inferno by Gustave Dore

Dante understood the power of hope and had a sign above the gates of his poetic hell. It read, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” In other words, hopelessness is hell.

More recently I have heard the power of hope summed up as follows: You can live without food for around 40 days. You can live without water for about four days. You can live without air for around four minutes. You can’t live without hope one second, because once you abandon hope you abandon life.

Therefore, jobseekers, do not abandon hope. Do not embrace false hopes. Instead, dare to believe that you have value, and that others want to help you express your value in a career. Furthermore, because of the Internet, the ability to research companies and network your way to success has never been greater.

 

Myers-Briggs, Social Style Theory and Interviewing

Uncategorized

Myers-Briggs (MB) and the Social Styles Model (SSM) are excellent tools for discovering more about your preferred mode of operation, your strengths and your weaknesses. But they also help you interview better.

MB uses dichotomies (a contrast between two opposites) to explain certain aspects of our personality. In the judging-perceiving dichotomy a judging person’s preference is to finish a task and not leave it open ended. Meanwhile the perceiving type prefers to wait until the last second to finish a task. One is annoyed by last-second, meet-the-deadline behavior while the other is energized by it.

In the SSM you have the driver-amiable contrast. A driver is someone who drives things to closure, who is more task-driven than people-driven, while an amiable likes to talk, chit-chat, visit and is more people-driven than task-driven. If a driver is in the middle of an important task and an amiable stops by his office and begins to talk about the weather, his date-night with his wife, the movie they watched, the meal they enjoyed, the driver’s veins will soon begin to bulge in his neck as he weighs the best options for ending this conversation.

social stylesHere is the point: Different communication styles are the result of preferences we have. To use a communication style that is the exact opposite of the interviewer is to risk making that person uncomfortable. Since people don’t seek the long-term company of people who make them cringe we need to avoid this.

So watch the cues. Does the person lean forward, get to the point, avoid small talk at the beginning of the interview or keep it to a minimum. If so, chances are this person is a judging type with a driving social style. Therefore, get to the point, avoid extending the small talk introduction, and the interviewer will feel more comfortable around you since you mean business.

Likewise, if the interviewer is letting the small-talk session ramble on for five minutes, don’t try to cut him off. Enjoy it, smile, sit back and allow this perceiving type with an amiable social style to experience the pleasure of being with someone who appreciates people more than tasks, and prefers to keep tasks open-ended until the last minute.