Tag Archives: interviewing

The Best Christmas Ever: A Coach’s Story

Coaching, Job Search, , , , , , , , ,

The Worsening Situation

Sometimes circumstances can make the truly gifted feel incredibly small, even invisible. This is particularly true when a person is out of work, searching for a job that seems further and further away with each passing month. That, by itself, can be a crippling anxiety-generator, but the anxiety mounts when this talented individual is a single parent who looks at the uncertain future with fear and dread.

A coaching client, who I will call Karen, was a single mom who had been out of work for about eight or nine months when I finally met her in August, of this year. We conducted a rehearsal, and then in September we met again to do more work. I went over all of the techniques I wanted her to use to gain control of her emotional state and project a charisma that is magnetic and leads to job offers. She told me she was using several of them, but she was still failing in job interviews.

Our time together was over, but we kept in contact. One day she told me she was excited about an upcoming interview in late November, but I was not excited about her prospects. She sounded weak and uncertain, utterly lacking in confidence. She later told me that she was in a bad place at this stage of her job search. So I scheduled time to visit her on November 24th, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, to try and prepare her for at least two opportunities.

Charisma Must Be Balanced

Karen naturally radiated warmth-charisma, but not the charisma that says with a sonorous tone, “I am strong and confident and capable of overcoming every challenge.” So, my goal was to balance her warmth-charisma with authority-charisma. When these two are balanced they act  like a powerful pheromone that is irresistible to hiring authorities. We then went over a strategy to help make this so.

Her next interview came and it must have gone well because she made it to the next round.

Ah, the second round. She had reached it several times, but her competitors kept passing her by as they raced for the finish line. Making matters worse, this stage involved the CEO of the company. He was a tough interview, kind of like a poker player wearing sunglasses. He gave nothing away.

The End of Uncertainty

The interview ended and Karen had an uneasy feeling. She was uncertain about how she did. Her feeling of uncertainty ended today when she got her offer. The CEO told her new boss, the VP of Sales, that Karen impressed him. As the VP told Karen, “He almost never says anything like that.” But her offer was not a good offer; it was a great offer. It was twice what another company recently offered her, and it exceeded what she was making a year ago. And here is what makes it stronger: The hiring company knew she had now been out of work for a year, and they knew what she was making. They could easily have offered her a lot less.

Karen was stunned by the generosity of the offer, but as I told her over the phone, “Karen, you’ve developed charisma. You made them want you, yearn for you to be a part of their team, and we can see the appearance of charisma in the result you generated. The hiring company paid you more than they logically and rationally needed to. And that is because, as Blaise Pascal once wrote, “The heart has reasons that reason can’t understand.”

The Best Christmas Ever

Christmas is coming in 11 days, but I am celebrating it today. And it is the best Christmas ever. For I got a chance to help a kind and decent person, who was gifted but did not always feel that way, to climb from her deep, dark sinkhole and arrive at a place where she and her son will be able to chart a new course.

Merry Christmas Karen, and thank you for making my Christmas the best ever.

Hired or Rejected Within Seconds

Coaching, Job Search, Problem Solving, , , ,

Could it be that interviewers make a hiring decision in less than a minute and are unaware that they’ve made this decision? I believe this happens in almost every case. To understand how this might be you need a brief and simple introduction to the two mental systems that everyone possesses.

We have a subconscious mental system called, by some researchers, the cognitive unconscious, and a system we are very familiar with, the conscious, rational mind. Unlike the rational mind the cognitive unconscious is effortless, automatic and very fast. It also influences the conscious decisions we make. The following study shows how this subconscious decision making takes place.

RED CARD OR BLUE CARD

An experimental subject (called “the subject”) was faced with a red and a blue deck of cards. The blue deck gave the subject bigger wins, but even bigger losses. The red deck gave him smaller wins, but even smaller losses. Ultimately the blue deck produced a loser and the red deck produced a winner, but this was not immediately apparent.

By about card number 50 the subjects began to express doubts about the blue deck, but what was precisely wrong with it they could not say. They had a feeling, but not a rational, conscious conclusion. By card number 80 they knew what the problem with the blue deck was.

What about the cognitive unconscious? Is there a way to measure when it concluded the same thing? The cognitive unconscious communicates to us through the body. It has no voice. So to determine when it began to “speak” to the subjects they were hooked up to devices measuring heart rate and sweating. By card 10 their heart rate accelerated and their sweat glands activated. Without the subject realizing it, they began to make fewer blue card choices after card 10. The cognitive unconscious was already influencing conscious decisions. The cognitive unconscious detected the pattern much faster, because pattern detection is one of the many talents it possesses.

So a subconscious conclusion was drawn at card 10 that was communicated to consciousness by card 50–the uneasy feeling. We see similar things occurring to interviewers. They often have  difficulty articulating why a candidate is not right for the job. It is a feeling they have in their bones. They are like the subjects at card 50. Some pattern has been detected and it is influencing conscious thought. What could those patterns be?

ASSESSING TRAITS BASED ON NON-VERBAL BEHAVIOR

We have an amazing ability to assess people on just a few seconds of non-verbal data. People who viewed three two-second video clips, minus the sound (a mere six seconds of non-verbal data) assessed a teacher on traits such as confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and likability. Their assessments were highly correlated with those of students who sat through the entire semester watching and listening to the same teacher.

Non-verbal behavior is the language of the cognitive unconscious. It is what enables us to immediately recognize an angry, sad, or happy face. We don’t have to rationally process this. And so, during an interview a subconscious assessment is automatically and effortlessly made on non-verbal behavior. It is a highly accurate assessment and it steers the conscious mind toward a decision. It is also an assessment that occurs quickly, resists change and assimilates all incoming information to fit the existing image. This assessment is called a mindset, but when people meet for the first time this mindset is called a first impression. And just like the blue and red decks, we are unaware of this assessment made by our subconscious system until “the 50th card,” or, depending on the individual, 5-15 minutes have passed. At that point we have an uneasy feeling about this candidate and a great feeling about that one.

THE DOMINANT VOICE OF CONSCIOUSNESS

One reason why non-verbals are so powerful is because so much of it is visual. The cognitive unconscious processes 11 million bits of data per second, and 10 millions of these bits are visual. The rational mind? It is slow. About 40 bits per second. Yet what do we tend to focus on in job search? Those rational 40 bits, ignoring the 10,999,960 bits that shape decisions in seconds.

Non-verbal behaviors express feelings like anxiety, nervousness or confidence. These feelings are felt and generate feelings that influence subconscious assessments that then influence conscious decisions.

THE PATH TO JOB SEARCH SUCCESS:

The following link will take you to my eBook, The Path to Job Search Success: A Neuroscientific Approach to Interviewing, Negotiating and Networking. It details the system that will enable you to gain control of your non-verbal voice.

http://amzn.to/1dETvOC

The Male and Female Brain

Business, Coaching, , , , , , ,

In order for us to align business practices with human nature–the way we process information, make decisions, etc.–we must first understand how humans are wired to operate. One area that people tend to shy away from are the differences between men and women. This is a touchy subject for any number of reasons, but we risk misaligning our business practices in ways that hurt men, or women, or both, when we fail to take into account that gender differences do exist.

Louann Brizendine, MD, in her books, The Female Brain, and The Male Brain, illustrates the neuroanatomical differences between men and women. In other words, there are male brains and female brains. The change occurs at the eight-week mark while male babies are in the womb. Notice, I did not include women in this statement because, as it turns out, the default position of the brain is female. Men and women begin life with “a female brain.” Yes, the cells of men have a Y-chromosome, so their brains are fundamentally different, but the structures of the brain are pretty much the same.  This changes at the eight-week mark when “the tiny male testicles begin to produce enough testosterone to marinate the brain and fundamentally alter its structure.”  Louann Brizendine, MD, The Male Brain (New York: Harmony Books,  2010), p. 2.

Among the structural changes: the Medial Preoptic Area (MPOA) of the male hypothalamus grows 2.5 times larger than the female’s MPOA. This area regulates sexual pursuit. That explains a lot, doesn’t it? Another area that is larger in males than in females, and also part of the hypothalamus, is the Dorsal Premamillary Nucleus that “contains the circuitry for a male’s instinctive one-upmanship, territorial defense, fear and aggression.” (Brizendine, p. xv).

This work correlates well with Susan Tannen’s work in sociolinguistics where she illustrates how men tend to have hierarchical relationships and their speech, or lack of it, reflects this. They always want to be “one-up,” in her wording, and not “one-down.” Women, on the other hand, operate in a more horizontal fashion, seeking to preserve the group harmony and consensus at the expense of staying at the top of a hierarchical ladder.

These finding correlate well with the Myers-Briggs world of Type. Around 3/4 of women tested are “Feeling” types that are more concerned with maintaining group harmony and dislike confrontation, unlike the other side of this dichotomy, the “Thinking” type.

All of this impacts communication, among other things. As Tannen famously noted, men don’t like to ask for directions because it places them in a “one-down” position. The person who may, or may not, possess the information being sought is now one-up.

Without an understanding of human nature we can make the most basic skills–e.g., communication–less functional than it should be. And this is just one small area, with a huge impact across all areas, where an understanding of how we tick can improve our performance.

Sales is an area that I am most familiar with and the way many salespeople, if not most, work against human nature instead of with it is astounding. I’ve consulted with European and American sales forces; some have had PhDs as salespeople, but education and intellect did not change the fact that their approach worked against human nature instead of with it. My volunteer work coaching the unemployed reveals the same issue. People, for example, interview in a way that is contrary to success. But once they align their interviewing, or selling, or communicating, with human nature, the results are much better and the chances of a successful outcome are greatly enhanced.

When Job Interviewing Becomes a Strength

Job Search, , , , , , , , ,

I will be conducting a free, 2-hour seminar at the CTC this Thursday afternoon, May 22, from 1-3 PM on mastering the job interviewing process. I believe we can turn this sometimes painful, frustrating process into a strength and that should be welcome news, because strengths are those things we do exceptionally well AND enjoy doing, over and over.

Please raise your hand if you enjoy interviewing for a job? Most people dislike interviewing until they master the process, so I’m guessing not a lot of hands were raised. However, once mastery is achieved the following can take place. This is a true story.

A CTC client of mine was heading out of town to conduct an informational interview at a company where he had once worked. The day before his flight he was told that tomorrow he would have 9 job interviews, would be flown to another office that evening and have 9 more the following day. Three jet trips and 18 interviews in two days. You’ll hear the complete story at the seminar, but let me simply state that he enjoyed the interviews, was relaxed throughout and was rewarded for his efforts.

The seminar will cover the psychological processes in play during a job interview. Once we understand them it should radically change or modify our current interviewing style. You will even get a chance to experience these psychological processes first hand in unforgettable ways. We will develop our value statement and how to use it to answer the “tell me about yourself” question. We will learn why stories are so psychologically powerful and how to construct them. We’ll close with suicide questions, you know, the ones where the interviewer invites you to commit suicide (think: “What are your weaknesses?”).

Copies of my book No Medal for Second Place: How to Finish First in Job Interviews  will be available for $5 a piece, just above my cost to buy copies and have them shipped to me. Since it is clearly not the money, what’s in it for me? My hope is that several of you will master the interviewing process and share with me your success stories, because they are a source of great joy. I still smile when I think of the 18-interview ambush. I’ll see some of you there.

Coping Strategies: The War We Must Win Is Fought Within

Job Search, , , , , , ,

My radio coach, broadcasting legend Lorna Gladstone, told me which podcast of mine was her absolute favorite. It was this interview on coping strategies with Professor Michael Milco. The link to this free, downloadable podcast is:

http://bit.ly/1di96Rr

If you are struggling emotionally with this sometimes agonizing and deflating job search process, then you will want to hear this show. Prof. Milco, who has been counseling people for many years, was awesome.

The Disabled and Job Search

Job Search, , , , , , , ,
Job search is tough for the sighted; imagine how much more difficult it is for the blind, or others with disabilities.
Job search is tough for the sighted; imagine how much more difficult it is for the blind, or others with disabilities.

Job search is tough, but for a very large, growing percentage of the population it is even tougher. I am referring to those who have disabilities. About one in five people–a whopping 20%–have disabilities that require some special consideration during work. But as my interview with Kerry Obrist indicates, the extra work required to successfully integrate people with disabilities into their job is more than worth it, because they can be incredibly productive workers. Please click on the following link to download a podcast of this interview, or to play it right now.

http://bit.ly/1kjb16K

Kerry’s own story is quite impressive and interesting. She was thirty years old, working as a school psychologist, when a degenerative disorder made her legally blind. She is now the CEO of a company that assists other companies in integrating the disabled into their work force.

The Young and the Unemployed

Job Search, , , , , , , ,

This is not the title of a soap opera, it is where the U.S. finds itself and it is a dangerous place.

Almost 6 million young people, aged 16-24, are neither at work nor in school. That’s about 15% of this demographic. What makes this such an unsettling fact is the longer-term implication of a generation waiting for work and failing to develop those skills required for advancement. This isn’t about individuals being unable to climb a corporate ladder; it is about U.S. businesses one day needing talented people to compete globally and finding this talent in short supply, because it never had the opportunity to develop.

The U.S. Capitol Building
The U.S. Capitol Building

Who is at fault? President Obama? The Republican-led House of Representatives? The Democratic-led Senate? With respect to your current state of unemployment, it doesn’t matter. Furthermore, if the unemployed focus on assigning blame, then the struggle to find work will almost certainly fail. Why? Because it requires an incredible amount of energy to secure meaningful work in this environment and wallowing in the comfort of excuses, and blaming others, is a luxury the unemployed cannot afford.

The first step that must be taken by the young and unemployed is to steer clear of blaming the economy, politicians, or anyone else. Young or old, the mindset must be, “I am responsible for my current situation. Therefore,” the responsible jobseeker asks, “What am I doing wrong, and what must I do right, to change this situation?” This may seem like strong medicine, but until we take full responsibility for our current situation we will be distracted by excuses from focusing on what is important.

If you are serious about finding work, then assess your current job search condition with this simple diagnostic:

  1. Do you understand the value your strengths offer?
  2. Do you even know what your strengths are? (If you don’t, that’s okay, because most people don’t.)
  3. Can you articulate them to a hiring authority in a compelling way?
  4. Are you networking effectively? Besides your LinkedIn page, are you pursuing informational interviews to network your way into the hidden job market?
  5. Have you developed stories to share your unique skills in a memorable way?
  6. CTC ChicagoAre you taking advantage of professional help? Coaching? It may be within your financial reach and it will accelerate the growth of your job search skills in ways you cannot imagine. For example, I serve as a volunteer coach at the Career Transitions Center of Chicago and their three month program costs $300. Check your location for similar programs. They may be offered by churches or synagogues, Chambers of Commerce, University alumni programs, but they will give you another perspective which is invaluable.

There is much more to do than answering these few questions, but it is a start. It is moving in the right direction. It is acting responsibly and facing the challenge of this tough job market with a positive, focused, no-excuses attitude that will be far more productive than one that allows the crippling luxury of excuses.

Communication: The Cognitive Unconscious in Action

Job Search, , , , ,

As stated in a previous post, the process of communicating is very complicated. It involves verbal and non-verbal communication. While we speak we are listening, processing how the other person is responding to what we are saying. This is constantly occurring because communication is more than just topical, it is relational.

iceberg
There is a lot going on beneath the surface.

There is too much occurring during face-to-face talk for the rational mind to process and keep up with. It is too slow, working at about 40 bits per second. But the cognitive unconscious is very fast, operating at about 11 million bits per second. It organizes information into patterns called schema. It senses what is going on before our conscious mind does, and it communicates to us through our bodies, through increased sweating, faster heart beat, a sense of uneasiness. The following study shows this process in action.

In this study the subjects were required to choose between a deck of blue cards and a deck of red cards. The red cards produced big gains, but more big losses. The blue cards produced smaller gains, but fewer small losses. By card 50 the subjects had a hunch about the red cards but couldn’t explain it. By card 80 they knew the problem with the red cards explicitly. But by card 10 the cognitive unconscious had solved the problem. This was indicated by an increase in sweating and behavior modification (a slight decrease in red card choices).

The cognitive unconscious is much faster than our rational minds. It recognizes patterns. It anticipates future outcomes and probabilities, because these patterns suggest what might happen next. It is at work in every communication experience including job interviews. This is why our non-verbal behaviors are so powerful. They trigger responses from the cognitive unconscious of the interviewer that can overpower or sway their rational thought process. For example, on paper you may be the ideal candidate for a position, but because you came in looking tense and nervous the interviewer felt you were a poor fit and not up to the task, even though everything in your work history indicated otherwise.

cupidWe are always communicating even when we do not say a word. The classic illustration of this is love at first sight. This strange phenomenon has been known for millennia, and the subject was even found in the writings of the Greek philosopher Plato. It was depicted as being shot in the heart by Cupid’s arrow. Love at first sight was not the result of rational processing of information. Instead, it was the result of the cognitive unconscious responding to what it saw.

What non-verbal messages are you sending during an interview? How can you possibly know? A mock interview that is videotaped is one way of discovering what sort of non-verbals characterize your interviewing style and taking part in mock interviews is highly recommended, because modifying our non-verbal communication is an essential part of the job search process.

Job Search Assets

Job Search, , , ,

Chicago is fortunate. Its Career Transitions Center (CTC) is a low-cost, high-impact asset for jobseekers. I’m unaware of a similar program in a major U.S. city. But that doesn’t mean that programs designed to assist jobseekers do not exist where you live. Here are three potential sources of assistance.

  1. The Chamber of Commerce. Sometimes your local Chamber of Commerce will organize job fairs or have other programs designed to assist people who are out of work and looking for re-employment.
  2. Houses of worship. Mega-churches are the ones that typically offer a fairly extensive array of job search services. An example of this in the greater Chicago area is Willow Creek. It is one of the largest and most influential mega-churches in the country and it offers an array of ministries that include career services. But smaller churches might also offer impressive programs. The CTC was founded by five faith communities: Chicago Temple (United Methodist), Fourth Presbyterian Church, Holy Name Cathedral (Roman Catholic), Old St. Patrick’s Church (Roman Catholic), and St. Chrysostom Church (Episcopalian). Though its roots are Christian, the CTC is a 501(c)3, not-for-profit, secular organization serving all faiths.
  3. University career services: If you are a college graduate, then you should take advantage of the career services provided by your university. Some programs provide free coaching from volunteers and if there is one thing I would encourage all jobseekers to seek out it is coaching.

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As you explore the career search services of your area look at joining a group, or starting one. Groups offer support during a time of stress and an informal venue for the giving and receiving of coaching insights.

 

The Elevator Speech Redefined

Job Search, , , , , ,

Yesterday, on my radio program, “You’re Hired!” I spoke with Laura Sterkel, the Director of Programs and Coaching at the CTC, about the Elevator Speech. Laura calls it the Value Statement and this slight modification is more important than it appears. When we label this concise self-description an elevator speech we turn it into a sales pitch. But when we call it a value statement it becomes an expression of the solutions we bring to a company’s problems, the value that we bring to them.

Since no one likes to be sold, but everyone likes to buy, this modification is important. For example, when I am selling someone there is a tension between us. I am on the other side of the table while the potential buyer is guardedly listening to me while I make my pitch. But when I present solutions to a customer the table disappears. I become a part of the potential buyer’s problem-solving team. They listen to me in a different way. My value appeals to them because they can clearly see how it helps them.

This radio program with Laura will appear as a free podcast on October 7th. I’ll post a link to it on my website (www.tompayne.com) and on a future blog post.

Until then, have a great day.