Tag Archives: job interview

The Best Christmas Ever: A Coach’s Story

Coaching, Job Search, , , , , , , , ,

The Worsening Situation

Sometimes circumstances can make the truly gifted feel incredibly small, even invisible. This is particularly true when a person is out of work, searching for a job that seems further and further away with each passing month. That, by itself, can be a crippling anxiety-generator, but the anxiety mounts when this talented individual is a single parent who looks at the uncertain future with fear and dread.

A coaching client, who I will call Karen, was a single mom who had been out of work for about eight or nine months when I finally met her in August, of this year. We conducted a rehearsal, and then in September we met again to do more work. I went over all of the techniques I wanted her to use to gain control of her emotional state and project a charisma that is magnetic and leads to job offers. She told me she was using several of them, but she was still failing in job interviews.

Our time together was over, but we kept in contact. One day she told me she was excited about an upcoming interview in late November, but I was not excited about her prospects. She sounded weak and uncertain, utterly lacking in confidence. She later told me that she was in a bad place at this stage of her job search. So I scheduled time to visit her on November 24th, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, to try and prepare her for at least two opportunities.

Charisma Must Be Balanced

Karen naturally radiated warmth-charisma, but not the charisma that says with a sonorous tone, “I am strong and confident and capable of overcoming every challenge.” So, my goal was to balance her warmth-charisma with authority-charisma. When these two are balanced they act  like a powerful pheromone that is irresistible to hiring authorities. We then went over a strategy to help make this so.

Her next interview came and it must have gone well because she made it to the next round.

Ah, the second round. She had reached it several times, but her competitors kept passing her by as they raced for the finish line. Making matters worse, this stage involved the CEO of the company. He was a tough interview, kind of like a poker player wearing sunglasses. He gave nothing away.

The End of Uncertainty

The interview ended and Karen had an uneasy feeling. She was uncertain about how she did. Her feeling of uncertainty ended today when she got her offer. The CEO told her new boss, the VP of Sales, that Karen impressed him. As the VP told Karen, “He almost never says anything like that.” But her offer was not a good offer; it was a great offer. It was twice what another company recently offered her, and it exceeded what she was making a year ago. And here is what makes it stronger: The hiring company knew she had now been out of work for a year, and they knew what she was making. They could easily have offered her a lot less.

Karen was stunned by the generosity of the offer, but as I told her over the phone, “Karen, you’ve developed charisma. You made them want you, yearn for you to be a part of their team, and we can see the appearance of charisma in the result you generated. The hiring company paid you more than they logically and rationally needed to. And that is because, as Blaise Pascal once wrote, “The heart has reasons that reason can’t understand.”

The Best Christmas Ever

Christmas is coming in 11 days, but I am celebrating it today. And it is the best Christmas ever. For I got a chance to help a kind and decent person, who was gifted but did not always feel that way, to climb from her deep, dark sinkhole and arrive at a place where she and her son will be able to chart a new course.

Merry Christmas Karen, and thank you for making my Christmas the best ever.

Hired or Rejected Within Seconds

Coaching, Job Search, Problem Solving, , , ,

Could it be that interviewers make a hiring decision in less than a minute and are unaware that they’ve made this decision? I believe this happens in almost every case. To understand how this might be you need a brief and simple introduction to the two mental systems that everyone possesses.

We have a subconscious mental system called, by some researchers, the cognitive unconscious, and a system we are very familiar with, the conscious, rational mind. Unlike the rational mind the cognitive unconscious is effortless, automatic and very fast. It also influences the conscious decisions we make. The following study shows how this subconscious decision making takes place.

RED CARD OR BLUE CARD

An experimental subject (called “the subject”) was faced with a red and a blue deck of cards. The blue deck gave the subject bigger wins, but even bigger losses. The red deck gave him smaller wins, but even smaller losses. Ultimately the blue deck produced a loser and the red deck produced a winner, but this was not immediately apparent.

By about card number 50 the subjects began to express doubts about the blue deck, but what was precisely wrong with it they could not say. They had a feeling, but not a rational, conscious conclusion. By card number 80 they knew what the problem with the blue deck was.

What about the cognitive unconscious? Is there a way to measure when it concluded the same thing? The cognitive unconscious communicates to us through the body. It has no voice. So to determine when it began to “speak” to the subjects they were hooked up to devices measuring heart rate and sweating. By card 10 their heart rate accelerated and their sweat glands activated. Without the subject realizing it, they began to make fewer blue card choices after card 10. The cognitive unconscious was already influencing conscious decisions. The cognitive unconscious detected the pattern much faster, because pattern detection is one of the many talents it possesses.

So a subconscious conclusion was drawn at card 10 that was communicated to consciousness by card 50–the uneasy feeling. We see similar things occurring to interviewers. They often have  difficulty articulating why a candidate is not right for the job. It is a feeling they have in their bones. They are like the subjects at card 50. Some pattern has been detected and it is influencing conscious thought. What could those patterns be?

ASSESSING TRAITS BASED ON NON-VERBAL BEHAVIOR

We have an amazing ability to assess people on just a few seconds of non-verbal data. People who viewed three two-second video clips, minus the sound (a mere six seconds of non-verbal data) assessed a teacher on traits such as confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and likability. Their assessments were highly correlated with those of students who sat through the entire semester watching and listening to the same teacher.

Non-verbal behavior is the language of the cognitive unconscious. It is what enables us to immediately recognize an angry, sad, or happy face. We don’t have to rationally process this. And so, during an interview a subconscious assessment is automatically and effortlessly made on non-verbal behavior. It is a highly accurate assessment and it steers the conscious mind toward a decision. It is also an assessment that occurs quickly, resists change and assimilates all incoming information to fit the existing image. This assessment is called a mindset, but when people meet for the first time this mindset is called a first impression. And just like the blue and red decks, we are unaware of this assessment made by our subconscious system until “the 50th card,” or, depending on the individual, 5-15 minutes have passed. At that point we have an uneasy feeling about this candidate and a great feeling about that one.

THE DOMINANT VOICE OF CONSCIOUSNESS

One reason why non-verbals are so powerful is because so much of it is visual. The cognitive unconscious processes 11 million bits of data per second, and 10 millions of these bits are visual. The rational mind? It is slow. About 40 bits per second. Yet what do we tend to focus on in job search? Those rational 40 bits, ignoring the 10,999,960 bits that shape decisions in seconds.

Non-verbal behaviors express feelings like anxiety, nervousness or confidence. These feelings are felt and generate feelings that influence subconscious assessments that then influence conscious decisions.

THE PATH TO JOB SEARCH SUCCESS:

The following link will take you to my eBook, The Path to Job Search Success: A Neuroscientific Approach to Interviewing, Negotiating and Networking. It details the system that will enable you to gain control of your non-verbal voice.

http://amzn.to/1dETvOC

An Antidote to Negative Self-Talk

Coaching, Job Search, , , , , , , , ,

anxiety2A private client of mine, who I will call Tess, was like a soldier suffering from PTSD. She had been out of work for nineteen months and had failed in fifty-nine, straight job interviews at twenty-nine companies. She was very smart (MBA from the University of Chicago), accomplished, likable, and engaging, but she no longer believed in herself. A tape kept playing in her head that said, “Loser! What happened to you? Your career looked so promising. Why did you screw it up?”

Nineteen months of negative self-talk can make you a stranger to yourself. She no longer knew who she was, and she desperately needed to reconnect with her real self before she disappeared. So, we had a conversation:

Me: Are you smart?

Tess: Yes. I believe so.

Me: What makes you think that?

She looked at me a little surprised. My tone was challenging. I was saying, “Prove it.” She then said:

Tess: Well, I went to a distinguished undergrad program and did very well. I also did well in a post grad program at one the top universities in the country.

Me: Oh, so you have objective evidence that you are smart. This is a fact, not a fantasy, am I right?

Tess: Yes.

Me: Are you likable?

And so the conversation went. It became something of a game, and she would smile with each question. I finally ended it by saying, “When I tell you that you have every reason to be confident because you are smart, likable, and engaging, I am not saying things that aren’t true just to try and make you feel better. I’m sharing objectively verifiable facts. So will you please start believing me and believe in yourself.”

After our conversation she would wake up each morning and say, “I’m smart and I have objective evidence to prove it. I am likable and engaging for the following reasons….”

dreamstime_xl_19169606Her negative self-talk was now replaced by positive self-talk based on reality. A week later she interviewed with a company and was hired. Their salary offer was $20,000 more than her previous salary. This indicates she was able to transform their “need to fill a slot” into “an intense desire to have her fill this slot.”

The hiring authority can feel what we feel. Human nature was designed to have this capability through the mirror neuron system. When the hiring authority feels our anxiety, fear and a lack of confidence this can outweigh the objective reality that each one of us may actually be a great hire. So we need to regain our confidence and when we do, and the 60th opportunity comes around, this same person who failed the previous 59 times can hit the ball out of the park.

When I spoke to Tess after she received her job offer, I could feel what she felt: the pure joy that accompanies the end of a nineteen-month, brutal slog through a wilderness.

THE PATH TO JOB SEARCH SUCCESS:

The following link will take you to my eBook, The Path to Job Search Success: A Neuroscientific Approach to Interviewing, Negotiating and Networking. It details the system used to help Tess and others.

http://amzn.to/1dETvOC

An Authentic, Interviewing Voice

Job Search, , , , ,

Jobseekers face a difficult obstacle. The interviewing situation is pressure-packed and stress-filled, and feeling nervous before the interview starts is normal. After all, you want this job, but only one person is leaving this contest with  a job offer.

If feeling anxious and nervous before a job interview is normal, then we need a new normal, because our emotional state affects our communication in ways that can end the interview before we say a word. Here is how.

Our non-verbal behaviors (our facial expression, body, language and tone of voice) are subconscious expressions of our emotional state. If we feel nervous, then we will look nervous. We don’t have to think about it. Our expression follows automatically. When you are really happy you do not think about smiling, you just do. These non-verbal expressions communicate a great deal about who we are and weigh heavily in someone’s assessment of us.

We can consciously control our non-verbals for only a short period of time. For during the interview, our rational minds cannot stay focused on understanding the question being asked, formulating our answer, and monitoring and adjusting the subtle messages our facial expression, tone of voice and body language are communicating. Our conscious, rational mind’s processing speed is around 40 bits per second. It simply doesn’t have the bandwidth to control all of this. Then, absent conscious control, our non-verbals go back to expressing our emotional state.

THE INAUTHENTIC VOICE

Now what happens when we have confident answers (the verbal component of communication), but our non-verbals express an anxious lack of confidence? In emotional situations, when our words fail to match our non-verbal behaviors we tend to believe the non-verbals.

“Albert Mehrabian drew this conclusion from his research many years ago. In 1967 he wrote a paper entitled, ‘Decoding of Inconsistent Communications.’ His study found tone of voice and facial expressions were more influential than words when communicating one’s feelings or attitudes.

“Later, combining these results with another study, he produced the oft-quoted percentages, that weight the impact of the actual meaning of words as being only 7% of the message when communicating one’s feelings or attitudes, while tone and body language had a respective weighting of 38% and 55%.

“For our purposes, whether his ratios are accurate or not is unimportant. What is important is this: In high-risk, high-reward—emotional—situations, non-verbal behaviors are more influential than the words themselves, particularly when the two don’t match.” (from The Path to Job Search Success: Aligning Job Search With Human Nature, 2015, pp. 42-43)

When verbal and non-verbal communications don’t match we have an inauthentic voice. We are sending two conflicting messages, not a unified, consistent one. And what makes this so problematic is the way our minds have the ability to assess non-verbal behaviors in seconds.  If someone approaches with an angry face you are immediately wary. The rational mind was not needed to analyze this and sound alarm bells. That is because our other mental system, the cognitive unconscious, is much faster than the rational mind and it is continually assessing the world around it, including non-verbal behaviors.

So, what are we to do? We are to gain control of our emotional state, because that is what generates our non-verbal behaviors. How do we do that? By changing our brain chemistry. Here are two techniques that do that. Amy Cuddy’s power pose reduces the stress hormone, cortisol, which has an enormous impact on the brain (I recommend viewing her 2012 TED talk). And taking slow, deep breaths does the same thing. Practice the power pose in the hiring organization’s bathroom about ten minutes before the interview, and take a few deep breaths while waiting for them to fetch you for your first interview. Then speak with an authentic voice. It is a voice that inspires confidence, trust, and the belief that you are more than able to handle the job.

 

 

 

When Job Interviewing Becomes a Strength

Job Search, , , , , , , , ,

I will be conducting a free, 2-hour seminar at the CTC this Thursday afternoon, May 22, from 1-3 PM on mastering the job interviewing process. I believe we can turn this sometimes painful, frustrating process into a strength and that should be welcome news, because strengths are those things we do exceptionally well AND enjoy doing, over and over.

Please raise your hand if you enjoy interviewing for a job? Most people dislike interviewing until they master the process, so I’m guessing not a lot of hands were raised. However, once mastery is achieved the following can take place. This is a true story.

A CTC client of mine was heading out of town to conduct an informational interview at a company where he had once worked. The day before his flight he was told that tomorrow he would have 9 job interviews, would be flown to another office that evening and have 9 more the following day. Three jet trips and 18 interviews in two days. You’ll hear the complete story at the seminar, but let me simply state that he enjoyed the interviews, was relaxed throughout and was rewarded for his efforts.

The seminar will cover the psychological processes in play during a job interview. Once we understand them it should radically change or modify our current interviewing style. You will even get a chance to experience these psychological processes first hand in unforgettable ways. We will develop our value statement and how to use it to answer the “tell me about yourself” question. We will learn why stories are so psychologically powerful and how to construct them. We’ll close with suicide questions, you know, the ones where the interviewer invites you to commit suicide (think: “What are your weaknesses?”).

Copies of my book No Medal for Second Place: How to Finish First in Job Interviews  will be available for $5 a piece, just above my cost to buy copies and have them shipped to me. Since it is clearly not the money, what’s in it for me? My hope is that several of you will master the interviewing process and share with me your success stories, because they are a source of great joy. I still smile when I think of the 18-interview ambush. I’ll see some of you there.

A True Story about the Incredible Power of Stories

Job Search, , , , ,

Imagine this: You are going on an informational interview at a place where you once worked. You are hoping to network back into that field, but you’ve been away from it for over five years. Suddenly, without warning, the informational interview changes into two days of job interviews, nine interviews each day (yikes!), in two offices, in different states, where they have openings. Some insider information increases the pressure. A friend tells you that there are some within the company who do not want you to work there (obviously they didn’t take a shine to you when you worked there before).

How do you prepare for that? You can’t in the time allotted, but this CTC (Career Transitions Center of Chicago) alum was ready. He had developed over five stories (I know because I worked with him to edit them and make them tighter, and they were powerful stories). His value statement was also tight and flab free. He was a person of substance–advanced degree from a top-rated university–but he was smart enough to understand that his style would determine the outcome. His substance had done little to persuade those who were gunning for him, so he had to charm them by being relaxed, personable, confident, memorable, and likable.

When he was finished he wasn’t told they would get back to him in a couple of days. They told him he could work in either office. He received an offer that he did not need to counter: It was at the top of their pay range for that position. And yes, he had won over even those people who opposed his candidacy.

I asked him something I believed I already knew the answer to, “Did you enjoy your nine interviews per day?” He answered the way I thought he would, “I did. I knew I was ready for whatever they threw at me. I was relaxed, smiling, confident.” I felt the same way after I had once prepared that extensively for an interview and aced it.

Folks, the stuff you are learning at the CTC works, but you have to put in the work, and it is hard work. It can take 5-10 editing sessions, and several difficult hours, to craft one story. However, that one story will be memorable, entertaining, and will separate you from the crowd of people who offer dull data-points and believe that their substance is all that matters. The second, third, and fourth story will increase your separation from the crowd, your memorability and likability. It’s hard work, but as the above STORY shows, it is worth it.

Happy New Year to all and may your goals of meaningful employment be realized.

Universal Applications: Stories

Business, Job Search, , ,

Words are power, not knowledge. If knowledge was power, then the most knowledgeable people would be the most powerful, and they aren’t. That is because the knowledge in our heads is not always expressed. Xerox developed a treasure trove of knowledge–the mouse for computers and the Graphical User Interface–and they did nothing with it. But Apple and Microsoft did.

Words have moved nations to war and reconciliation. Martin Luther King did not have the money to buy his way into power. He had no standing army. But his oratory touched the conscience of a nation and he wielded great power.

Words are power and stories make them more powerful. Corporations have figured this out and at Nike, the sporting goods company, all of the senior executives are designated corporate storytellers. Kimberly Clark offers two day seminars in how to develop stories. Proctor and Gamble has hired movie directors to train its executives on how to lead better through telling stories that inspire and connect with their teams.

Stories are a universal application. Well-crafted stories work well in corporations, at parties, during job interviews, you name it. But like most universal applications we fail to give this one its proper due. We might use it during a job interview, be awed by the results it produces, and then never use stories again.

The following is a true story about someone who harnessed the power of stories at work:

There was an employee named Jamie who was somewhat robotic at work. He believed he was at work to get his job done and not make friends. Then, when he went to a new job, he decided he would reach out to people and develop relationships that were less superficial, but after a year he knew his colleagues didn’t much care for him.

One day, at an anniversary celebration, the CEO of the company said, “I’d like everyone to tell us something about themselves, as much or as little as you’d care to share.”

When Jamie’s turn came he told the story of his younger brother, Steven, who had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. At the age of 19, Steven finally reached the point where he could not take his uncontrolled highs and lows and got in a car, drove until he crossed two state lines and ran out of gas, and then shot himself in the head. He drove as far as he could because he did not want his parents to be the ones who found him.

Jamie said that though this experience was extremely painful, it taught him to never take things for granted. And he started to volunteer at suicide prevention organizations as a way to honor his brother.

When he finished his story half the room was weeping, others came by and gave him a hug. His expression of vulnerability had a profound effect on his audience and on him. The once robotic Jamie was immediately humanized. As one worker put it, “All of the sudden Jamie had depth.”

This improved his ability to lead. His direct reports now cared about him and stopped watching the clock, working until needed projects were finished. [1]

The power of words is amplified when they appear in a story. When an application is as universal as this it pays to master it, and then use it throughout your life.

[1] Jamie’s story is adapted from Paul Smith, Lead With a Story: A Guide to Crafting Business Narratives that Captivate, Convince and Inspire (New York, AMACOM, 2012), pp. 83-85.

Universal Applications: Good Questions

Business, Job Search, Problem Solving, , , , , , , ,

question markThere are certain techniques and strategies that are universal in their application. They work in business, in job search, in daily life, and yet we tend to forget about this and take advantage of their versatility.

Something as simple as asking good questions is an example of a universal application. Asking good questions is very different from merely asking questions. For example, I remember interviewing a person for a sales position and she asked if the job would require working over 40 hours a week. That was not a good question. I also remember a salesperson who asked customer after customer if he had some products that he could bid on. No one said yes, because he was asking them to generate a lot of extra work for very little return.

Unlike the above, good questions can have a favorable impact that helps you sell your product, win the job, or improve communications in your daily life, because it is one of life’s universal applications. The above-noted person who was floundering in sales by asking dumb questions soon produced double-digit revenue gains by asking good questions.

I taught him to ask the next customer we were seeing, 3-M, questions to uncover problems they may have been experiencing in the world of packaging. For example, “Are any of your packaging products failing and causing you to quarantine them?” After asking several more questions of this sort the 3-M engineer looked at me and said, “No one’s asked me these questions before.” He then turned to the salesperson and said, “Here is who you need to see.”

Asking good questions can change the way you are perceived by customers, friends, interviewers, everyone. But if it is such a powerful technique, then why don’t we spend more time refining this skill?

Strengths-ImageI was coaching someone who was working in real estate, not enjoying it, and looking to find a job outside of this area. During the coaching process he learned what his strengths were, how to articulate them, how to present his accomplishments in stories, and so on. Suddenly his real estate work became more successful and now he is going to re-engage himself in this area. He did not realize it but he was benefiting from some of the universal applications he had learned during job search.

Before he left I taught him one more, a good question that is itself universal in it application. I told him to start his conversations with potential real estate clients by asking one question, “What are your goals?” Because once he knew their goals he could craft a plan to help them achieve them. It would change their perception of him. He would transition from being a realtor to being a member of their team who was trying to help them achieve their hopes and dreams.

He was excited about using this technique, and then I reminded him of some of the other ones he’d learned in job search and how they applied very powerfully to his world of real estate, because they were universal applications. The next one we covered was stories, which I will cover in the next post.

 

The Disabled and Job Search

Job Search, , , , , , , ,
Job search is tough for the sighted; imagine how much more difficult it is for the blind, or others with disabilities.
Job search is tough for the sighted; imagine how much more difficult it is for the blind, or others with disabilities.

Job search is tough, but for a very large, growing percentage of the population it is even tougher. I am referring to those who have disabilities. About one in five people–a whopping 20%–have disabilities that require some special consideration during work. But as my interview with Kerry Obrist indicates, the extra work required to successfully integrate people with disabilities into their job is more than worth it, because they can be incredibly productive workers. Please click on the following link to download a podcast of this interview, or to play it right now.

http://bit.ly/1kjb16K

Kerry’s own story is quite impressive and interesting. She was thirty years old, working as a school psychologist, when a degenerative disorder made her legally blind. She is now the CEO of a company that assists other companies in integrating the disabled into their work force.

Differentiation: The Most Powerful Sales Tool

Business, , , , ,

I’ve used differentiation to sell multi-million dollar systems. And once, when we did not receive the right to participate in a $4 million opportunity, differentiation was used to secure that right. One year later, after numerous presentations, plant tours, visits to reference accounts, we won that contract. I’ve also used differentiation in job interviews that resulted in me winning the job against much more accomplished individuals, and in coaching jobseekers in the art of interviewing.

The reason why I focus so much attention on it is because the process is so powerful. Why? Because, when it is applied in the right way, you are allowed to promote your product at the expense of the competitive product, and the customer will allow you to do so even when they favor the competitor. But the key is doing it the right way or this most powerful sales tool can blow up in your face.

I am currently working with a European salesforce to develop their differentiation message and, as with U.S. sales forces, they were initially skeptical about using this approach. But once it was nuanced so as not to offend, and the facts were checked to make sure everything I was saying was 100% factual and accurate, they began to see what a powerful weapon they had to fend off new competitors.

The format is simple: You begin with a differentiation statement. This states a fundamental difference between the two products in a way that favors your product. Then, you tell a brief story that illustrates this difference, then you conclude with an expanded version of the previous differentiation statement. The repeated message sticks, the inherently memorable story sticks, and when the competitor comes pitching their product the customer does not buy what they are selling because a key difference, in the forefront or back of their mind, prevents them from doing so.

[If you are interested in learning more about this complex subject, please visit tompayne.com and click on “The Causes of Sales Success” tab in the navigation bar.]